Thursday, September 3, 2009


Focus that energy baby into deep thirsting love for me... It is energy and it can be transformed into a power that I have yet to explain to you. But feel me on this and use the insight deep within to take our souls to levels above reality. I am with you my angel. And I promise I will take you fully and completely to satisfy all your urges and desires that way only I know how. I am hungry for your love my dear. My need for your mind, body and soul is beyond madness.

The Impossible

I can and will do the impossible for my love. Have no fear my angel, just faith!

Have Faith

Yes, I am crazy to love you to the extent to want your complete and fulfilled happiness, that I can not separate you from the ones you love. When you are ready to surrender your self to me knowing what you truly need, desire and want then I can rescue you. I need your faith.

For All Eternity

Baby I am so in love with you, share my love with those who need it most. Your family. I am chivarous, I am virtue, I Need your love for all eternity.

If you believe...


What am I to you? Baby everyday I would wake up crying next to you because of an overwhelming feeling of love that I never thought could exist or even be possible in world of impossibilities. I left you in a zone of truth, inner love and happiness for you and your family. I know you. I know what you need. You do not need false promises to make up from mistakes or inner insecurities. You need to be permanently secured in love. You do not need someone who can provide for you at the moment because you have that. You need faith and hope knowing that what you really want takes focus, courage and discipline. Are you not ready for that. Are memories of the hollow flesh dictating your well being. Are you also not ready to accept what you ask for because it seems like a dream that you can not handle. Is it because you feel you are not worthy like millions of others on this planet who are willing to accept defeat in their life of illusions and settle for second to last in a hopeless journey. Do you understand the concept of faith? Do you believe in love or miracles? Do remember our intimate magic of how life stopped and waited for us at every corner returning jackpots of happiness and love to us. Do you recall when we were so into each other not observing the world around how bells, whistle and arpeggios would ring of true love found. Do you recall how when we make love to one another that our passion was so intense that we took the lives away from some of the worlds greatest givers. You must see the signs clearly my love. I beg you to know, understand and see the truth. Ironically you have references that would secure your heart. Even in half love, I could love greater than any man with full love. And when I love fully, I love only with the divine grace of a God. You look at my faults and judge me. Why do you do this to me my Angel. I know you have a tarnished imaged of me and it is only cause you allowed it. I provide you with simple ihnstruction that you should follow out the joyfulness of your heart willingly. I do not want to see the signs baby. You are confused. Ask her how and why I fell from grace, ask her how I was always there daily. Do not only see the 3 times I was not there since my heart was never there to start with. That is me. Yes I am unreal. But to you I am the realest ever to grace your love. Wake up and focus on me. Start your day with a secret power to happiness. Learn our duets. Love your family. Play new songs. Tell me how much I mean to you and that you waited for me all your life and you can wait just a little more. Provide me with the fuel I need to believe that can take me to new heights that is all I ask for you. If it is part of me you need physically I can cut a finger for you to keep by side as testament to my will. Stay in a happy place. Forget the unhappy past and now live for a glorious future if you believe in love. Give that love to your kids since the years are few. Do not let your mind trick you into thoughts of pain and sorrow which are illusions to challenge your inner self. Know what is right with certainty that moves your soul. Do not gamble our virtue, do not misuse the powers of the soul. Stay guided on a true truth. But you have to believe. You have to fast! You have to desire. You always have the upper hand. You know my weakness's as I am being tested now with reason. I accept my call, I will avail. You must see me through with words to me that are always from the heart and not the con of the mind. We are water to each others arid souls. Baby what can I do. You accepted our duties, you push the clock to tick faster. Yes I want you in a desperate way. Are you ready for that. I want you now baby in a forever way. However my love, I will fight your heart, but I will not be challenged by any man or beast lesser than the genuine love of me. I do not duel! As dueling is for ancient barbarians. For I am hard yet delicate, I am the love of aeon's forged from the pressures of life to have a love that vibrates of perfection. I will not stop believing. But I will stop settling, for I know my worth. That even the love of loves is not worthy of my heart that I offer to you. If you believe then you will radiate daily in our glow to become brighter and stronger. You will focus on me so. And you have not with 10 hard minutes or our songs of love. You regressed our passion and it hurts that I must prove myself til no end. But I will till I am left nothing. And I will lay my loveless body near a shrine dedicated to you for my will must go on..because I believe.



Strength in My Love


My Angel please remain fulfilled in my love. You must always believe in me. I called upon you, I prayed for you, I synapse with you, and summoned you to be one with my heart and devoted to you for endless days. I have spent hours among hours, days among days and years among years waiting for us to be. We are a product of a grand alignment of the brightest stars the heavens can hold. I am to make you a witness of everlasting love to guide you on the remainder of this earthly journey into a realm of spiritual enlightenment that only mates of souls can provide as guides. We are not by accident nor chance. We are etched from the days of passion that formed this earth. You are godsend my angel. I am your star gate to dimensions new and old to fulfill you with the truth of truths for you to know thyself. Do not be lost my dear for I am your light. Do not feel cold my angel for I am your warm body, Do not feel arid for I am your moist. I need to see you soon, to make love to you my dear. I need for you to be reunited with the primordial energy within my core so you become reacquainted with home. I am at war for us my love and I shall return to embrace your gentle frame and lead you into a silence dance as I caress your thoughts and deepest emotions. Breath me in my dear just for 10 minutes. See me in the light of your mind. Keep me there and hold me pushing my energy deeper down to the base of your spine. Release the breathe of me with a smile that radiates to all the cells in your body. Feel me filling you up my love. Feel my breath on you, feel my heat on you, feel my strength on you my Angel. I know who you are. You are my only true love to ever exist for me. No other before you had privy to the depth of my soul. I offer you the only gift I know that will make you complete. I give you the undoubted gift of my love. Accept this gift, do not challenge it. Do not chase any mockingbirds that will make you miss the call of destiny. You are my forever love!


Wednesday, September 2, 2009

So in Love

I am so in love and love you so! I have always loved you since time began. Baby be blessed in the depth of our love and showered in our eternal fountain of happiness. Our love is forever.

A Blessing

Baby understand my moments have become magical and I am at it hard. You are a blessing to me.. You will see my angel. Love is forever!

At Home With Hope

There has never been a better feeling, my dear to wake up and feel you in my heart no matter where you may be or myself. I have never felt a better sense of security, at homeness, peace or tranquility knowing I will be living a focus life, living each day to attain our goal and make the impossible happen. There is always sunshine after the weather of a bad storm, I feel the storm is over and can actually feel the radiant light from the sky warming my body. Baby I recall momentarily when we breathed together : in-hold it-out-hold it and again. It was a soulful feeling of togetherness, it was not sex, It was you and I exchanging the breath of life in comfort of one another. My Angel we need to acknowledge everyday to the dept of heaven that we are thankful for the uniting of our to lost spirits into one. I thank you for empowering me with undying and unconditional faith. I love you for very word, breath, touch, kiss, hug, meal, shower, dance, lovemaking, look, caress, massage, and fun that you shared with me. I love you so much and feel that I already have so many memories of you as if you have always been there. You make me feel super young in spirit and childish in heart, and mature in loving. Can't wait to the next time we race down a long hotel corridor like kids in an amusement park. Love is forever my angel and I love you a thousand times more than that and you know it! Have a blessed day my angel, I am with you til no end!


Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Lift Me Up

My Angel now you are making me soar. You have lifted the shadows of doubt that were casted over me. Not only do you brighten the smile on my face, you even shed your pure light unto me like a candle of hope in a labyrinth of despair. You lift me up with encouragement and wisdom. You push me to be! You raise my spirit to carry forth with strictest discipline to focus. You are what I need. You are my Angel, you are rescuing me and I shall therefor be able to rescue you. I won't and can not ask much from you cause you are everything and all. My dear I want to see you to touch your face and look into your soft eyes. My angel I want to lift you up in my arms and carry you. I want you to be my side through all eternity. I want you by my side in the next life, and the life after that and after that life. When you can no longer carry your own breath, I shall carry your ashes til days on end. I shall carry a torch to represent our eternal devotion. I listen to your sweet voice utter to me words of gold. I can not express in words or any form of art how thankful I am for your love. I cherish you. I worship you. I am forever in love with you. I thank you for and continuing to lift me up. I shall get some rest now. May I see you in my dream and make soft tender love to your kind spirit.

Who am I

I sit alone thinking about life. I look back and thought about how I always encourage faith, hope and love in everyone. I remember a hungry homeless man asking me for a dollar for a something to eat cause he was hungry. As always I interview the intention of those whether he needed it for alcohol or drugs. I am not a rich man but I learned from my mother to live a life of Christ so my heart has more treasures than all the Pharaohs tombs of Egypt combine. The homeless man assured me he was hungry. I only had 20 dollars at that time cause I was struggling. But I realized how better off I was than he. I took that man to the Boston Market chicken place on queens blvd in Sunnyside and told him to order anything and everything that he can possible eat to fill himself up... He looked at me as if he was having lunch with Jesus and thankful for the human spirit. I looked at him as if he was Jesus knocking on the three doors when no one answered. I had faith that god was watching me knowing my heart. I had faith that this man would not lose hope in himself or others. If I had a million dollars I would teach people how to believe in the impossible, if I had 2 million dollars I would rescue my angel to live a godlike life thankful everyday for the angels that watch over me... I had lived a life believing in others when they could not see it for themselves. I lived a life that was a lie, doing the opposite of others, walking my own path, pouring my heart into others only to be drained of my last essence. What is there left to believe in when there is no love? why do I love unconditionally when others love back only with conditions? Why do I put myself through this torture? What is that I believe in so much that others do not? Why do those take my gift of love in vain not feeling my soul but only feeling my flesh? I am not meant to live in this world. I am from another planet or dimension. I do not belong here. My angel, I had always been preparing the way for you. I accept you, I believe in you, I love you. No one should have my heart. No one should have that emotion I once identified as love. Love is just a different degree of hate, one of the same thing. So when I thought I loved myself I guess I was truly hating myself. I was hating myslef, I was hating myself for feeling this emotion of love in which I can not control. My heart is just a hollow muscle that now pumps cold blood through my veins and nothing more, so I will no longer listen to it, I will no longer follow it, I will no longer believe in it... I am here in this world just for the experience to take back to the collective. When the universe contracts back to a singularity I guess I will be revealed the truth. So I live now cursed like a vampire roaming the land alone with his love. I live now like an fallen angel of god cast out of the garden. I am that I am, I am Satan.


Emotional Suicide

I am punished, all my life I tried to love, when others were not ready to love me. All my my life I tried to believe when others did not believe. All my life I tried to help when others needed help, All my life I tried to give when others only wanted to receive. I took every experience in my life in slow observation. I tried to understand these experiences and why they make me feel the way I am, I live these experiences as they shaped me into the person that I am. I always knew there were somebody in this universe for me whether they were on this planet, elsewhere or in a spiritual realm. I searched the spiritual realm. I dove deep within my mind spending motionless hours in meditation looking inside myself for all the answers I did not find in life. I took a trip down the rabbit hole only to open my heart which I had shutdown after years of self torture only to find an energy that was pure and packed with explosive power. I said to myself this was my guardian angel, this is what my life planning was about. This is what I had longed for since a child, to be a part of complete fulfilled love, to be held and never let go, to be understood and not shame for my past actions. For my actions only matter to the one that I truly love from the present moment to the future. I should not be balled and chain for my past. I have serve a painful sentence in life when I did no wrong to begin. Things where not great I suffered pain, therefore I tried to become a even better person, when everyone one around me stayed the same. And now fingers point at me for having a split personality, because it is not possible for a person like me to exist. The more real I become, the more unreal things become. I shut myself down once and for all not seeing nor believing in anything, for now I am Shidoshi.(Japanese word for warriors who become dead to the world). My angel I am ready to accept all of you completely, family, children and husband. I must be insane, something must be wrong with me I must have a split personality, you are right cause who in the world could love so much to bear so much pain entering such an emotional suicide. You rescued me, you baptized me in love, you gave me hope, restored faith and slained me. The last thing I wanted to do was to tarnish my image of trueness in front of you, in which I have yet to do, but unknown forces have swayed you from me. Dark forces have blinded you of me, dark spirits put doubt and fear in your heart. I can never ever repair those thought in you neither through lobotomy or heart transplant. You will carry these thoughts forever. There is nothing I can do at this moment but shed my tears to the world, nothing left to purge this sorrow daily in hope that someone knows that a genuine heart had walk this planet, maybe for some it would be inspirational and for others to have hope and live a virtuous life so when that true love comes your way all your debts in life are paid and the riches of love will fill their hearts. My angel I can barely see as I type these words since my eyes are swollen in flooded tears as I blogged my pain and love. I will never allow myself to feel this way again. I swear it. I can not breathe anymore cause you were my air. I can not feel anymore cause you were my senses. It is better to have love and lost then not to love at all. I must appreciate the loving experiences that I had with you for now all they are is just fractured memories and broken dreams. I not only woke up in tears when I was by your side loving you, but now I wake up in tears everyday hurting of you. Until the next lifetime my love meet me by the fountain of light. I will be there in a puddle of tears waiting for your return to me. My mission in life is done. I am not here to be love but only to spread love, hope and faith to help others believe in the impossible and have faith in the darkness.